Problems of Being a Dark Skinned Indian Man in Malaysia

Problems of Being a Dark Skinnned Indian Man in Malaysia

The Adventures of The Dark skinned Indian Man and his quest to make a living.

Go apply gomen job, “Sorry no quota”

Go apply Malay company, they say sorry “Bumiputra only”

Go apply Chinese company, they say “Chinese speaking candidates only”

Go Indian company, they say “Nambe pasange nambe mudiyele”

Take bus to interview, they say “Need own transport”

Take car to interview, polis roadbloack tahan.

Go walk in interview, receptionist dont want to open door to scary Indian man.

Apply sales job, they say “unfriendly looking”.

Apply client facing job they say “pleasant looking only”

Go manual labor, they say “Myanmar and Bangla only”

Go customer service job they say “too many Indians, need to mix up then Deepavali no staff”

Go entry level job , they say “Sorry, at least 2 years experience”

Go apply loan start business, bank say “Sorry cannot give no collateral”

Go politician ask for help, they ask “Who you know?” go multiple meetings, get 20% of what your really need and be told “Be happy with what you get, some people dont get anything” whilst the remaining 80% goes to their pocket.

Go ask gomen to help, they put you through training and throw you back on the street.

Go agensi ask money, they tell you your business cannot work, cannot give help.

Go pinjam along start business, Indian gangster come “Jalan kaasu kasi” today, along come ask bunga tomorrow.

Start food business in Indian area, Indian say “Aiyo food very expensive”

Start food business in Malay area, people say “India jual, tak halal”.

Go masuk tender, they say “Bumiputra status required”

Go non-restricted tender they say “Must have billion dollar in paid up”

Go for a low level tender they ask “Berapa percent you mau bagi”

Start home delivery business, people post on Whatsaap “Suspicious Indian man spotted outside door”

Go approach Indian aunty customer on street, “Auntie run away clutching Thali “aiyo samun panne vanthutan”

Go approach Indian girl customer on street “Ivangele vereh veleh ille, ore pilleh taniya poire kudathe”

Go approach Indian uncle on the street, uncle gives you lecture on how you can do things better and how this Indian youth are spoiling the society, never buying anything.

Ask Indian support, they ask “This one is MLM or pyramid?”

Ask friends and family to support, they ask “We all got no diskaun ar?”

At last you find something really feasible to do and open shop, another Indian fella will open shop selling same thing few doors down.

Live also kennot, die also kennot.

By: Nedumaran Elangovan 

Written by FunnyMalaysia

The leading media company in Malaysia for the social age, intensely focused on delivering high quality original reporting, insights and viral contents.