This happened at noon. I was on the flyover from Subang heading towards the NKVE/Subang Airport when I saw a police officer hiding behind a lamppost, so I already knew there’d be a road block, but I didn’t think I’d get pulled over.
They INSISTED that I had been using my phone. So I said in Malay, “Look, my phone is in my bag. I’m holding a box of Milo,” and for a good six minutes I had to argue with them about how it’s not a crime to hold a box of Milo and they kept saying that I would have put my phone in the bag after seeing the cop behind the pillar. Ugh.
So I go, “Sumpah, I tak pegang handphone tadi. Ni Milo tau. I baru nak minum, tengah pegang straw,” and one of them said, “Jangan sumpah-sumpah semua. You sumpah banyak sangat, sebab tu you kat sini.” What?
After a while I get thoroughly annoyed (and was running late for work) so I go, “Eh ni memang fitnah lah. I tak pegang handphone langsung. Fitnah!!! Where is your proof? Do you want me to call a lawyer? You ingat I tak tau undang-undang perjalanan???”
So a second policeman yells, “You nak proof?! Kita call skarang member kita kat sana tu! Dia nampak! Dia boleh konfirm!”
Then they walkie-talkied the police man that was standing behind the lamppost and he says, “Ya. Pakai handphone. Tangan kiri.”
And I’m like “Iye laaaaaa I tengah pegang Milo dalam tangan kiri! Tanya dia – handphone warna apa?? Hijau??? Handphone I bukan hijau. Ni tidak adil!!! I nak panggil lawyer. Korang tak boleh saman I sebab pegang Milo…”
(I really should have finished law school.)
Finally they get fed up and they tell me, “Okey. Pergi lah. Kalau you ingat you memang jujur, you drive je la. Nanti you kena accident atau mati, haaa itu sebab you ingat you jujur sangat”.
I wished him Salam Ramadhan and drove off.
Corrupted scumbags. Everywhere!
TL;DR – If cursing at people actually worked, all the people who taught me in secondary school would be dead by now. Pfft.