British English vs. Malaysian English

malaysian english
Malaysian English is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point and effective.
1. When Giving A Customer Bad News
Britons : I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians : No stock
2. Returning A Call
Britons : Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians : Hello, who call?
3. Asking Someone To Make Way
Britons : Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians : S-kew me.
4. When Someone Offers To Pay
Britons : Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians : Ok lah. Next time I pay (Next time never happen)
5. When Asking For Permission 
Britons : Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians : (pointing at the door) Can go ah?
6. When Entertaining
Britons : Please make yourself right at home
Malaysians : No need shy shy one lah!
7. When Doubting Someone
Britons : I don’t recall you giving me the money
Malaysians : Where got?!
8. When Declining An Offer
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind
Malaysians: Don’t want lah
9. In Disagreeing On A Topic Of Discussion
Britons : Err…Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue
Malaysians : You mad ah?
10. When Asking Someone To Lower Their Voice
Britons : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I’m trying to concentrate over here
Malaysians : Shut up lah!
11. When Asking Someone If He/She Knows You
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you starting at me for sometime. Do I know you?
Malaysians : See what, see what!?
12. When Assessing A Tight Situation 
Britons : We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..
Malaysians : Die lah!
13. When Trying To Find Out What Had Happened
Britons : Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians : What happened ah? Why like that one lah?
14. When Someone Did Something Wrong
Britons : This isn’t the way to do it. Here, let me show you
Malaysians : Like that also don’t know how to do!
15. When One Is Angry
Britons : Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians : Bodoh la you!

Written by FunnyMalaysia

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