Audrey Hepburn was one very wise woman who had this to say, “If I get married, I want to be very married.”
And there are no truer words because in marriage, you’re either all-in or not at all. To be ‘very’ married, giving an honest answer to the 9 questions below should help you see if you’re ready for marriage.
1. Why do you love him/her?
We may all have slightly different answers as to why we love someone, but if we aren’t able to exactly define the parameters of our love, then we’re likely to struggle later on once the intensity and excitement dies down.
2. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her?
Life is a journey — one that is best not travelled entirely alone. You should be able to tell your partner what life experiences you hope to share with him/her.
3. Will you do your best to keep the romance alive?
Romantic love cannot survive on its own; both of you are going to have to maintain it constantly. Are you willing to keep the romance as one of your main priorities?
4. Will you stick through the rough times?
There comes a point in every relationship when you have to make a decision. You will reach a point where you will either decide you are going to be there for this person for the rest of his or her life, or not.
5. Can you promise to put your marriage ahead of everything else?
We want everything life has to offer, and then some. But we can only pick a few things we consider important and do our best to flourish in those areas.
Your relationship should be the most important thing in your life because it’s what makes the rest of your life possible.
6. Will you be a great parent?
How could anyone know he or she will be a great parent? Easy. You’re going to be great because you decided you will be.
7. Will you support him/her if he/she can’t support themselves?
Will you carry your partner when he/she can’t walk? Will you carry the family you’ve created until your partner regains his/her strength? Are you capable of mustering the strength to fight battles for the both of you?
8. Will you promise to continue pursuing your personal goals and dreams?
Marriage is not entirely the end of the person you were. You have to juggle being the person you have always been with being a part of a larger whole. It’s not easy. But it is necessary.
9. Will you not allow yourself to let go?
Will you take care of your health—not just physically but emotionally and mentally? How can you take care of someone else when you can’t even care for yourself?
No one should become a burden to those they love.
I hope the answers you have for these questions provide some clarity and insight.