5 Questions Malaccans are sick of hearing


While I love my hometown a lot with the upcoming jam and the human crowds from everywhere except from the locals,  I get lots of questions about where I am from.

Basically I have compiled my top list of questions that I get EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. Going in with the 5 top questions that I will remember always.

1. That Satay Celup Shop

Image: melissathegreat.com
Image: melissathegreat.com

Seriously people.. Capitol Sate Celup has to be the most overrated sate celup stall in Malaysia. No, I meant if you go there and queue up for minimum 1 hour, you will soon realize that the taste is not that great to begin with. What make it taste great is because you waited one freaking long hour along the road for a place to sit and when you get your place to sit, you will be definitely hungry therefore the food will be good. Logic 101. Marketing strategy gone right guys.

2. That One Racial Question

Okay are you kidding me people?! I am Malaysian and yes I am Chinese! Besides it is BABA not NYONYA. Nyonya is for the ladies, Baba is for the guys and they are called Peranakan (Straits Chinese). Just because I am darker does not mean that I am not Chinese so yeah, just a little mix of here and there upstream ya know? So calm your tities, and speaking with me. Don’t worry, my Malay is far better than yours too. (Mandarin maybe not that much but I surely can curse and order mah food)

3. That Chicken Rice Ball Question

Image: Flickr / Vkeong
Image: Flickr / Vkeong

People always ask me what is chicken rice ball. Topkek question people. Basically, it is still chicken rice but instead of serving you with normal rice, they decided to you know make your rice a fucking ball!SURPRISE! Honestly, the balls hold nothing special, we usually like the chicken as it silky smooth and just nice but as time goes by, lots of Malacca famous food has moved on to compete with fast foods.

4. That Clubbing Spot

Image: malacca.ws
Image: malacca.ws

Okay oldfag listen up! Pure Bar has been dead since the longest time in 200X. If you want to be clubbing this is the latest spot called: MIXX and also the famous Hard Rock Cafe. If you are expecting a crowd like Zouk then it is better you just give up now. Clubbing in Melaka with the crowds of younger mother and mainly those Chinese speaking with sling bags, yeap, you better be off burning money elsewhere.

5. That One Street

Image: malacca.ws
Image: malacca.ws

Yeah you all saw this coming, that would be the Jonker Street. Yes,you have everything in jonker street, all the tales of food that you heard the stalls are there. Are they the best? Certainly not. Are they the edible? Yep, if you are press for time you know where to go. The street have Ikan Bakar all the way to some fruit-glazed in frosted sugar. To some awesome bottled drinks where you can only get in Melaka. You can also get your favourite shaved ice (ice kacang) over here. I think it’s No 88.

That’s about it.

Sekian. Terima Kasih.
Kevan Lee
Malaccan Chinese.

This post is contributed by The Kiev. Want to submit a post? Send it in to submit@funnymalaysia.net

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