15 facts about Indian Hindu weddings in Malaysia

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1. 3/4 of the crowd does not know who the bride and groom are. They only know the parents of the bride or groom. 
2. If you are related to the groom or the bride, in some wedding functions you will tend to bump into your Indian friends from high school or college and you will realise on that day that you guys are actually related somehow.

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3. Indian dads, when you attend a wedding function, you can see all the Indian dads will group up in one table and start talking about politics. Never fail to talk about politics every time.
4. We Indians do checkout the ladies who attend to the function but we are always afraid of making any moves because they might be related to you

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5. You can attend a wedding with or without an invitation. There are usually about a thousand that would attend the wedding function. Some of the people who attend the function are not even close to the bride or groom. Maybe they just met them once or a fellow neighbour who jogs in your residents that always says hi
6. Indian aunties and ”paattis” (grandmothers) will usually show up for the wedding with their blings (gold everywhere). They will be proudly showing them off to the whole world. The bigger the better. If you are planning to rob a bank, change your plans and start robbing Indian weddings. 

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7. You often find yourself sitting in between two relatives who are not in talking terms. 
8. The food in Indian weddings are awesome. Free flow of mutton people!!!!!

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9. They usually serve orange juice, lime juice or in some cases syrup juice with lime
10. There are two types of Indian weddings; The sober one and the one that serves alcohol. If you attend the one that serves alcohol, you will notice that no one really drinks much. That is because, all the aunties and paattis will start judging you. ” Wow, I didn’t know that Mohan actually drinks. All these while I thought he was a good boy” (Mohan is a 28 year old man). 
11.  Nobody really understands what the priest is saying. 

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12. Non-Indians will get special treatments in the wedding. People tend to check them out and they would be wondering, who are these people related to. There will usually be one or two Mat Sallehs in the wedding all dressed up in the traditional Indian costume. Sometimes they are dress up even more traditional than the other Indian people that attend the wedding. 

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13. You will always here this discussion among the people who you sit with to eat, “the food was fantastic, who is the caterer?”. And after they are done eating, they will ask you this, ” Eh boy, where to put the plates? Can leave it on the table only? Where to wash hands? 

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14. There will always be 1 or 2 tudung Malay ladies in the crowd. All the Indian people who attend the wedding will be very happy because they think that the crowd is multi racial and everyone is pretty open. 
15. Overall, Indian weddings are awesome. They have loud music, lots of colourful things around, good tasty food, plenty of rituals, dancing performances (in some weddings) and a welcoming crowd. Do attend if you have the chance to. You will never forget the experience. 

Credits to Monyet King

Written by FunnyMalaysia

The leading media company in Malaysia for the social age, intensely focused on delivering high quality original reporting, insights and viral contents.