Let’s be real, long-distance relationships suck.
Two people meet and falls madly for each other and then, one leaves town. For a long time. But both of you decide to stay together anyway. Here are the things you need to know about long-distance relationships before jumping in.
1. You’ve got a free ticket to an emotional roller coaster ride.
Some days will be fine. You’ll just do all the usual stuff — go to work, catch up with friends for drinks, scroll through Facebook and work out every day to look fit when you finally meet again.
But there will be terrible days too. Days when you don’t want to get out of bed or do anything meaningful — except for embracing your pain and loneliness. Days when you seriously question your decision: “Is it worth it? Why am I doing this?”
2. There will be a lot of tough decisions to make.
So where are we heading? How do we see our future together? Should I leave everything and move to you? Is it worth it? Who will come and visit? When?
Get used to the endless swirl of complicated questions you both need to answer honestly.
3. Your laptop and phone will be your real significant other.
At least for now.
You will fall asleep with your beloved’s face on the screen. The first thing you’ll grab in the morning is your phone to check for a “Good morning” text.
4. Time will be your greatest enemy.
You want time to just fly by when you’re apart so that you can just be together again. But when you’re together, you wish for time to go as slow as a snail so that you can savour every second, every minute you have.
5. You will get creative trying to fill up your time.
Always wanted to learn French? How about play tennis, enrol in a cooking class, or master crocheting? This is a good time to find new hobbies and try new things. Keep your mind engaged and let it focus on learning new skills. Besides, isn’t it an awesome way to impress your partner when you finally catch up again?
6. There will be all sort of memory triggers that would cause you to randomly cry.
You will miss your partner at every turn and every couple you see will make you envious. There will be a million things you wish you could share with your partner — favourite hangouts, favourite food, the best place to get coffee. And sometimes when it gets lonely, the smallest thing would trigger your tears.
7. It will not get easier.
Oh, no, it won’t. Even when you think you can get used to being apart and are now stoically waiting for when things get easier, they won’t. No matter how long you are in a long-distance relationship, you always miss your significant other like crazy.
8. You learn to live in a twisted reality.
They’re never there, but they’re all yours. You spend too much time inside your head replaying all those sweet moments spent together, having all those daydreams and conversations.
9. Your family and friends won’t be as supportive as you expect.
“Are you sure this relationship would last?”
“Does your boyfriend even exist?”
“Why don’t you find someone else to date?”
10. You will have to go through tough times in your own.
Your partner won’t be around every time you desperately need them, not on one of those “bad days” when you are one step away from a yet another mental breakdown. Not on those days when you fail and need more support than any sweet words on Skype can convey. Eventually, you learn to cope with a lot of things on your own, and you grow stronger and more matured in the process.
11. Trying to visit each other will be complicated.
You still have different and conflicting commitments holding you back. (Or else you’d be sitting next to each other already, right?) And flights get insanely expensive during holidays and vacation seasons. Exactly, those times when you are most likely to be able to visit.
12. When you finally meet, you just pick up where you left off.
When you are together again, it seems like those ugly weeks apart never existed. Like you finally pressed “Play” and started living your perfect life again. At least until it’s time to go back home.
13. Eventually, you develop an odd feeling of sureness.
You will begin to consider that if you are not soul mates, why would both of you bother so much? You become more sure of your relationship as time passes.
14. You know that if your relationship can survive the distance, it can survive anything.
As a couple you will develop this invisible, bulletproof bond. It will carry you through all sort of arguments and difficulties. After all, if you survive the long-distance thing, everything else from then on will seem easy!