I have come out with the ten things that annoy even the pak cik, kakak, minachi, uncle, thamby and even Ah Boy in this part of country when they’ve on the road.
1. Smart Tag become Unsmart tag
The Smart Tag lane is supposed to make paying tolls fast and easy. Ever come across a Smart Tag lane and get struck? Either the driver has no credits in his/her TouchandGo card or just simply do not have a Smart Tag device, this is as equally annoying as seeing getting stuck with a aunty with a trolley filled with toilet papers and Milos that could last a year while lining up at the express counter at Tesco.
2. Traffic light issues
Traffic lights somehow reflect like how men need women (can live without them, can’t live with them). It becomes an annoyance when a stench of road has not one, but multiple traffic lights. At some point, passing these multiple traffic lights the fastest way (obeying the law that is) is a challenge. Go to the nearest Magnum/Damaichai/Sports Toto if you happened to meet five sets of traffic lights with green lights and no stoppage. Have you stopped every ten traffic lights during your journey? Go “mandi bunga” the moment you reached home… To add salt to injury, having all these traffic lights unsynchronized and they will annoy your patience on the road just like waiting for George R.R Martin to complete the next installment of “A Song of Fire and Ice”. Besides, it is bad for fuel consumption, and speaking of which….
3. Lining up at petrol stations prior the fuel price hike
The moment our government announces a hike in petrol prices, expect motorist to flock at the nearest petrol station, regardless if it is a minor 10 cents increase or a massive 60 cents hike in 2008. Malaysians are willingly to wait close to an hour, with their engines turned on (which burns precious fuel while idling) to get cheaper fuel just before 12.00am. The moment the tanks are filled up, they celebrated their savings of RM10 per tank by buying a pack of Malboro or a drink at Chattime. Oh, the irony….
4. Road Hogger
Another maddening attitude that reflects all Malaysians, regardless if it’s two- or four-wheels. Road hogging has become a national disease until it spreads into the fast lane on highways. Hogging the road like a boss also leads to other annoying behaviours, which lead us to…
5. Closer, closer
Having the vehicle at the back getting too close for comfort is downright pathetic. If sticking closer to your vehicle’s rear bumper is bad enough, the driver at the back flashes hi-light to indicate the front driver to get out of the way. One wrong move and we will have the recreation of dreadful highway accident scene in Final Destination 2.
6. Park like a Champion
We have had a fair share of parking issues, ranging from: – Parking-ception (double or triple style) – Motorcycle parking on a car park slot. – One Kancil taking over two car park slots. – Parking in disable car park slot. The list is so immersive, I think we should have another top ten list for that topic in the future….
7. Curiosity kills the cat
When something happens on the road, either if there’s a car accident, stalled vehicle or someone decided to walk naked, it’s automatically becomes an event! The event that not only won’t be cancelled in the 11th hour (Thirst 2015), but also attracts every busybody motorist on the road from both sides of the traffic, jamming up the roads in the process.
The combination of our country’s tropical weather and slow repair works have resulted to our roads mirroring the streets of Baghdad post carpet bombing from B-52. Worse, potholes will return like a terminator hunting for Sarah and John Connor even after repairs were made. Potholes are not only damaging our vehicle’s wheels and tyres, but also poised as a death warrant for motorcyclist. Worse, potholes are covered with water during the raining season, making it as an unseen death trap. Hence, if you see a puddle of water on the road, avoid it at all cost!
9. Foreign slang from GPS
Thanks to modern mobile technology such as GPS, we do not get lost on the roads like how we used to be back then. In fact, we can get to Jalan Ampang without relying on the twin signature “Jagungs” landmarks. However, GPS software such as Waze, Google Maps and so on are after all, products of the West. So when the device pronounces Bangsar with westerner’s slang, not only it misleads (eh, what’s Peng Sarr?) but also irritating to our ears.
10. Fuel consumption giggles
A personal pet peeve of mine will be regarding fuel consumption. A regular Malaysian will grudge a good fuel consumption figures will be RM50 can go 400km or so. As fuel prices fluctuates time after time, it would be better and more accurate to use the standardised “km/litter” or “L/100 km” rather than how many Ringgit per tank. Still, when someone mentioned his/her Myvi can last RM50 for a week, I chucked, with much annoyance.